Going beyond the first step

How it began: Sometime in November, while I was doing an awareness talk at a government school, I noticed a young girl, about 12 years, with a shaved head and drooping eyes. She hovered around me after the talk and seemed keen to approach me. All I had to do was smile at her, and she told me her story. Let’s call her Annu.

Annu’s father died an alcoholic, and her mother is a chronic alcoholic too. Her mother is rarely in her senses to take care of Annu, so she ends up roaming the streets and doing whatever comes to her mind. She visits school once in few months, especially when they distribute uniforms or books. Her speech seemed slurred and her strange eyes had me thinking if she herself is under substance abuse. Before I could complete that thought, Annu told me how her mother gives her alcohol occasionally as a “medicine” for her aches and pains, and later the teacher told me how some students had seen her unsteadily walk along the streets, sniffing some white powder. And she is just 12 years old!

Strange and painful as it may sound, she isn’t the only such child in that school. Out of a strength of around 100 children, that school has nearly 20 children who are regular absentees. Where do they disappear? What happens to them? Can’t we talk to their parents? Haven’t the teachers tried to intervene? Every time I asked these questions, the teachers told me that they’ve tried it all and nothing works. The parents are not receptive and the children have been advised, counseled, punished and what not…..and it has been of no use so far.

Home visits: Today, I decided to find out for myself what really happens, and walked into that school in the morning. And what greets me? A 13 yr old being beaten by the teacher for coming late. That poor weeping child kept mumbling something to avoid being beaten, only to be beaten further. The reason given by the teacher was that this child always lies and comes late and requires counseling. Being a trained lay counselor, I sat down with that child in a separate room. Let’s call her Spandana.

Spandana wakes up at 6 am every day, collects water from a nearby tap for the household needs, then walks around 2 kms to collect timber for heating water, then prepares tea for her family, cooks the food, washes the utensils, and then if nobody beats her that day, she rushes to school. A similar story follows at night. He hands and legs have marks of dried and fresh wounds from being beaten by family members for not doing enough work! Her family consists of a father, a mother, grandparents, an older sister and a younger brother. So why does she have to do all this work? She is an adopted child. Her mother died when she was young, and she is looked after by relatives. Spandana requested me to help her move to a hostel so that she can focus on her studies. Ask her what she wants to become in life, and pat comes the reply - a Doctor.

I also visited homes of 3 other children from nearby slums. I was accompanied by 2 little girls from the school, sent by the teachers.

The first house was that of Annu’s, but she wasn’t there. So I asked her Aunt (mother stays elsewhere) to bring her to school tomorrow. I plan to take her to a Pediatrician for a complete checkup, before I decide a further course of action. Here again, her Aunt requested me to enroll Annu in a hostel.

The second visit was to meet a boy who has been absent for months. Let us call him Vinay. After an accident which badly burnt his feet, Vinay has not been coming to school. After some talking, laughing and attempts at convincing, Vinay was asked to come to school tomorrow. He smiled, and whispered something in his relative’s ear. Worried that he was expressing his intention of not going to school, I asked the relative what he whispered. Apparently, Vinay was worried about his uniform that needed to be collected from the tailor since he had to go to school the next day! Let’s hope…

The third visit was to meet Soniya, 8 years old and suffering from a condition since birth that will leave her visually impaired in a few months. Her parents were supposed to take her to Sankara Eye Hospital, but being new to Bangalore, and generally afraid of the world out there, they just stayed at home. Her mother, though wary of us in the beginning, ended up sharing the child’s medical reports and requesting us to help with admitting the child to a school for visually impaired children.

A bit about visiting slums – Contrary to what we may hear about it being unsafe for women, or that slums are full of rowdies, uncouth people, and what not, I saw that when you request people for ten minutes of their time to talk about helping their child, they are quite welcoming. And in case they do not wish to talk to you, you can just apologize for intruding and walk away.

As volunteers, most of us prefer to play with children, make them smile for that moment, have a good time, and come back happy. While this is a good first step, why do we hesitate to go beyond? Possibly, because it disturbs us to see a child in pain; it scares us to even think what a young homeless girl might be put through on the streets; it frustrates us that we might put in so much effort, and see so little result.  

But, for one moment if we stopped thinking so much about “us”……..and spared a thought for that child who is in fact going through the things we can’t even begin to imagine…

One day a week, one child at a time. It is worth a shot, even if you fail.

I have gone beyond the first step to preserve a childhood. I hope you will too.